I will restore our great nation, these United States, to its former glory and bring honor back to the Office of President.
I will guarantee free healthcare to all citizens.
I will give government jobs to all who desire them.
I will bring home our soldiers and end all wars.
I will reform public schools, institute free college, and forgive all student loans.
I will shore up Social Security.
I will ensure social justice and equal rights.
I will banish all bigotry, sexism, and racism.
I will save the environment moving our nation off all fossil fuels to renewable energy in ten years.
I will give every citizen a thousand dollars a month.
I will welcome all immigrants and refugees with open arms, fix all our nation’s ills, and give the entire world a vision of a better future.
In essence, I will give you Utopia where each persons’ subjective truth must be accepted universally.
For all this, I ask one thing.
A small request.
I require you to look aside. . .nay, to endorse, to applaud, to cheer, to shout for joy as my agents, my minions, butcher (slicing flesh, tearing limbs, crushing skulls) little babies as they struggle to survive in the sacred, mysterious womb now transformed becomes the alter of infant sacrifice to greed, self-affirmation, and pleasure.
For this simple act of worship, I give you the kingdoms of the Earth.
Eat of this fruit and you will be as God.
What profit it a man should he gain the whole world and lose his very soul?